There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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