Please, let me fuck your mom
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
