i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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