I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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