just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
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She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
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Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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