Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
