The maid of honor just puked.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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