Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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