there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
