Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
