You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
