so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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