'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
