chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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