Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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