Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
