Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
