I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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