Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
