I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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