he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
