im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
