Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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