a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
