we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
