you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
