Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Pants are for mortals
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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