Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
