hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
