Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
