Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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