please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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