please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I understand Curling. That high.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
