I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
