was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
