Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
