upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
