I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
