Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize