My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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