I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
