Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
