belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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