..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
