i think my mom watched the whole time
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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