toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Randomize
