I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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