I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
