if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
