You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
