Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
