I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
