i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I am available for nakedness
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
