You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize