don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize