Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
