Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
