Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
this is an emotional support booty call
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
