I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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