I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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